My Blue Antics

This is a feather out of my Kolkata Diaries, one that I haven't spoken about to a lot of people but definitely worth noting for all my shenanigans.

So we are about to head to Park Street at 8 pm to give Jay Sean (Yeah, that's what I call the groom now) his post wedding Bachelor party, with me in tow of course.

As we wait for Jay Sean, Sapan the driver gets the car out of the garage and parks it outside the house. Standing there looking at it are Samrat, one of Jay Sean's close buddies and moi.

Then I say loudly - I want to Drive.

Sapan smirks - Gaadi chalane bhi aata hain? (Do you even know how to drive?)

So I flash him... my shiny, almost one-year-old Drivers License. Anything else?

What I didn't mention is I haven't practiced my driving in ummmm over 8 months. Anyway, he didn't need to know that. plus, I was confident about my driving skills. After all, everyone told me that I would never forget what I had learned. Goes to show you shouldn't swallow everything people vomit.

Anyway to be on the safe side I tell Sapan to get into the passenger side, he declines. You said you can drive, so drive.

I flex fingers, adjust seat, wear seat belt, put leg on clutch, move hand break down and start car. So far all is well.

Press accelerator -  then all went in the well.

I forgot about the ABC from right to left - Accelerator, Break & Clutch.

My foot couldn't find the Break. And now when I think about it, it's probably cause my Foot was pressed hard on the Accelerator. Lol.

So everyone's like ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH....

And inside the care I'm like ARRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

Jay Sean's neighbour thankfully has a wall - so I decide to scrape the front right side headlights and the car till the end of the wall all the while wondering...

PRESS THE BREAK!!!! which the three men are screaming.

Not THAT Bad Nah?

Next there is a cycle rickshaw ahead standing still watching the drama unfold - now there are three different sets of people screaming ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHH

i.e. the cycle rickshaw driver, the three men & me :D

My leg finally finds the break about 3 feet from the auto guy and there is pin drop silence.

I get out of the car. Everyone comes running to the front of the car to see the damage.

Nyeh - a couple of lines.

So after we drink a couple of beers, I'm driving us back home, I say gleefully.

The three men laugh menacingly, HELL NO!

Meanwhile, Jay Sean comes down - What did I miss?

GULP.