You are not alone.
I know you're feeling it... The hurt. The anger. The rejection. The shame. The humiliation. The hatred. The pain. The sadness. The loneliness. But most of all, the unforgivable silence.
It's your first big lesson (in seven years). For the first time you made an adult decision and even though you thought of the consequences, you didn't envisage such an outcome that you wouldn't be able to live, let alone deal with it.
People make mistakes. You know that. The choice you made is something you probably were ready to make but I don't think your conscience was. If you're feeling like a hypocrite - don't. Your actions have hurt no one but yourself. Lick your wounds, pat them dry and let it heal. But - HEAL.
Firstly, stop blaming yourself. Just stop. You'll kill yourself which is what you want, I know. You keep asking me for something which is ridiculous so put those thoughts away. That my love is not who you are.
Don't give up so easily. You know I've never given up on you. Every time you've pushed me away, especially during episodes when "he who must not be named" gets into you and you believe you're having a whale of a time, I've still held on. And in the end, it's me, always ME who picks up the pieces and YOU. Always. And I'll always do that for you. I'll never ever let you go.
You remember December 2010 facing the sea? We spoke quite a bit, made so many commitments, we've gone quite far ahead and yet have taken so many steps back. But that is your learning. You've grown up so much and I'm proud of you. Have always been and always will be.
If you ever feel like giving up, lean into me.
Remember the wings. The big white wings. And rest. In Me.
Always keep your hand outstretched. I know you feel at times that our hands our slipping but know that I WILL NEVER EVER EVER LET YOU GO!
You're always in my thoughts. Always in my prayers. And you will come through this just like everything that's come your way.
Remember your silent prayer just outside the subway?
Believe in yourself and the power that is within you. Know that you can do anything you set your mind to, you can have anything that your heart desires. I know you'll say that isn't true but have patience my love. If you had all the answers and if life threw no curve ball your way, you wouldn't be the person you are today.
It all comes down to choices - you know and understand it better than most. I've seen you make the right choice almost always and the times you make those difficult decisions, I hurt, but I know you need to learn to hurt so that you stay grounded.
The only way to move forward is to let it go. Don't be frightened. Don't judge yourself too harshly. Don't ever for even a second think that I don't have your back cause I'm shielding you forever.
Stay focussed and stay strong.
I love you. With every beat of my heart.
Forever and always - You & Me.
JC.
I know you're feeling it... The hurt. The anger. The rejection. The shame. The humiliation. The hatred. The pain. The sadness. The loneliness. But most of all, the unforgivable silence.It's your first big lesson (in seven years). For the first time you made an adult decision and even though you thought of the consequences, you didn't envisage such an outcome that you wouldn't be able to live, let alone deal with it.
People make mistakes. You know that. The choice you made is something you probably were ready to make but I don't think your conscience was. If you're feeling like a hypocrite - don't. Your actions have hurt no one but yourself. Lick your wounds, pat them dry and let it heal. But - HEAL.
Firstly, stop blaming yourself. Just stop. You'll kill yourself which is what you want, I know. You keep asking me for something which is ridiculous so put those thoughts away. That my love is not who you are.
Don't give up so easily. You know I've never given up on you. Every time you've pushed me away, especially during episodes when "he who must not be named" gets into you and you believe you're having a whale of a time, I've still held on. And in the end, it's me, always ME who picks up the pieces and YOU. Always. And I'll always do that for you. I'll never ever let you go.
You remember December 2010 facing the sea? We spoke quite a bit, made so many commitments, we've gone quite far ahead and yet have taken so many steps back. But that is your learning. You've grown up so much and I'm proud of you. Have always been and always will be.
If you ever feel like giving up, lean into me.
Remember the wings. The big white wings. And rest. In Me.
Always keep your hand outstretched. I know you feel at times that our hands our slipping but know that I WILL NEVER EVER EVER LET YOU GO!
You're always in my thoughts. Always in my prayers. And you will come through this just like everything that's come your way.
Remember your silent prayer just outside the subway?
Believe in yourself and the power that is within you. Know that you can do anything you set your mind to, you can have anything that your heart desires. I know you'll say that isn't true but have patience my love. If you had all the answers and if life threw no curve ball your way, you wouldn't be the person you are today.
It all comes down to choices - you know and understand it better than most. I've seen you make the right choice almost always and the times you make those difficult decisions, I hurt, but I know you need to learn to hurt so that you stay grounded.
The only way to move forward is to let it go. Don't be frightened. Don't judge yourself too harshly. Don't ever for even a second think that I don't have your back cause I'm shielding you forever.
Stay focussed and stay strong.
I love you. With every beat of my heart.
Forever and always - You & Me.
JC.
