There are some days, weeks, months and even years where I've had to dig down, real deep to remove the self pity that will start reeking outta my pours and find some self compassion.
The things my mind thinks, the way it wanders into obscure tangents... I hate being in this place. I hate being weak, I hate being unsure, and more than anything I hate having to tell my mind that I will not settle for anything or anyone less than I deserve.
But what do you deserve, Chelsea? Who are you to decide? How do you know what your desires are?
I'm so afraid of free falling again. Keeping a tight rein means never having to be or feel vulnerable which defeats the very purpose of love.
Uneasiness is slowly settling in and I'm not liking watching life pass me by this way.
I just hate this perpetual lump stuck in my throat, this putting my head down and having to walk away all the time, this constant having to eat humble pie, being made to feel like it's not worth responding to what I have to say.
And then comes time, playing her flute, making it easier to breathe.
It's not someone saying I hate you that kills - even hate is a feeling. It's the indifference. And I hope if you ever do go through it, you have the wisdom to know how much you matter and that you are second to no one.
The things my mind thinks, the way it wanders into obscure tangents... I hate being in this place. I hate being weak, I hate being unsure, and more than anything I hate having to tell my mind that I will not settle for anything or anyone less than I deserve.
But what do you deserve, Chelsea? Who are you to decide? How do you know what your desires are?
I'm so afraid of free falling again. Keeping a tight rein means never having to be or feel vulnerable which defeats the very purpose of love.
Uneasiness is slowly settling in and I'm not liking watching life pass me by this way.
I just hate this perpetual lump stuck in my throat, this putting my head down and having to walk away all the time, this constant having to eat humble pie, being made to feel like it's not worth responding to what I have to say.
And then comes time, playing her flute, making it easier to breathe.
It's not someone saying I hate you that kills - even hate is a feeling. It's the indifference. And I hope if you ever do go through it, you have the wisdom to know how much you matter and that you are second to no one.
