That time of the month...

... When my defenses are at their weakest. When all the people I have wanted, have walked away from me. Down but not out... yeah that's me, most of the time at least.

Once in a while though that niggling itch comes right back and bites me. Those are the times when it hurt the most I guess.

I could never be her. Never dress up like her, never talk like her, never walk like her, never act like her. Who am I kidding. I could never be her.

I could never be her.

I tried caring again. Shit I tried. I swore I would never but I did. Well we nipped it in the bud didn't we precious?

Got told by someone " Tera tho kuch bhi nahi hone walla hain... Shaadi kaun karega tere sei..." While he said it in jest *I think*... I voiced out aloud -"I know... I know, because it is true." Shrugging it off I had my chai.

It's a waste caring. It's a waste trying to be that person others expect you to be. I am not going to compromise on what I stand for and what I believe in.

Dreams do come true. This is just a low point for now, but there are so many highs. I have to be strong and resilient.

I won't ever let the sun go down on me.

Amen.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh baby this love ain't gone be perfect,
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight long as everything is alright between us before we go to sleep...

I know sometimes it's gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause' I can't sleep through the pain
girl I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me

~ Ne Yo