If I asked you...

Do you wanna build a snowman?

Will you be my adventure?

Even after all this time? 

There's only one correct answer

8 years to 40

Yeah, lousy way to look at it but whatever it takes for a reality check, man.

So, Happy Burrpday Day, Chelsea!

Those birthing hips of yours aint gonna last forever, so getta leg on, love.

Heh.

This year, TBH, I didn't plan much but got to watch a few films that were overdue - PRETTY WOMAN!

Not to mention, watched The Bucket List again - Jack and Morgan two guys who make a great on screen couple and would probably make a mean drink too :P

All right - what are we doing this year other than trying to get jiggy wit it.

I have to somehow manage to cross skydiving, bunjee jumping, scuba diving or snorkeling off my list.

Yeah, good luck with that, babe!

A little more calmer, a little more clarity in thoughts, words and deeds - and take life with a little bigger pinch of namak.

And what 2016 taught you more than anything

WHEN THEY GO LOW, WE GO HIGH!

Stay the same. Always.

Ramblings @140 w/pm

Hello.

If you're reading this, I want you to know you're not the only one wandering alone and lost in the crowds of a weekend mall.

Do you, like me, have people you love, either in a relationship, married, pregnant or with kids? That you can't call them cuz they are busy?

That you're peering through that magic glass mirror and seeing them move on with their life, happy/sad, and you seem... Stuck, somehow.

You walk among them, blending in your solitude, hearing snippets of laughter, cat fights, glee and secret kisses. Shameless voyeur you are.

Sometimes you choke, in anger, in grief, in hurt. Your eyes form a pool, a single line rolls down your cheekbones. You wipe that liar away.

Someone's child ambling around offers you her pudgy hand, looks at you & kills you, with a smile. You accept that kind touch and smile back.

Something, deep in your gut, shifts. You smile at the mother and she sees the ache in your soul. She nods at you, in pity. She understands.

You kiss and press that beautiful hand one last time, before turning away to the crowd, again. You look down, not wanting another encounter.

You wonder how many at that very moment were lonely drifters like you. Were at the mall just to be part of a larger purpose, to feel wanted.

Time's up. You grab a latte for the long walk home. As you exit the crowd you bump into the lil angel again. She smiles and offers you hope.

She reminds you: it ain't over till the fat lady sings. Chin up, chest out, you hum "November Rain", a little lighter load on your head and ♥.

A little more of you. A little less of me.

SMP,

I’ve been meaning to write this ever since I came out of the meeting with my seniors last month.

During our discussion I found they valued my inputs, they saw my potential, turning ideas into realities... I kept nodding and agreeing with them, debating with them on the directional guidance that I’d need, the skillsets I’d need to better myself, the time and learning I’d need to put into all of this…

And during the entire intervention, I smiled and thought of you.

I walked out of that meeting, went straight to the washroom and closeted myself. I realised the very things you’d told me at BG when I told you about my fears about the new role and how I wanted out. 

You made me realise my worth or rather remind me of what I was taking for granted and what a break this is for me. You didn’t give me your opinion or offer a solution but you asked the right questions and got me questioning all my motives for wanting to give up on those who’d given me a phenomenal opportunity.

I really thought about what you said the next day but then soon forgot about it. But now I’m looking at things in a new light – about my future here, my existing role, my growth and what it takes to be good at what you do.

I don’t think you realise how much that last ‘real’ conversation, I guess, meant to me, but this note is to say “Thank you” for sparking a little hope and instilling a little confidence and faith.

This will Always be my biggest takeaway from our 5ive.

C

P.s: I did a repetitive mistake and I paid a terrible price for it last evening. Really hurts to know we meant nothing. You really can't make a heart feel something it doesn't want to.

To quote James Bay:
Trying to fit your hand inside of mine

When we know it just don't belong

There's no force on earth

Could make it feel right, no

Trying to push this problem up the hill

When it's just too heavy to hold

Think now's the time to let it slide

I just wish I'd accepted what I'd ignored from the beginning and... anyway, no regrets. Another bitter lesson well learned.