Wingardium Leviosa!

Friday, April 1, 2016

Baby, bye bye bye... Bangalore!

Why am I the one
Always packing up and gone
I really wish I'd like it if I'd stayed
~FUN

I came to Bangalore with nothing except cold feet, fear of being around people, frightened of my own shadow, a broken mind and heart, a suitcase full of knick knacks which fit right in with what I was feeling - Empty.

It seems like forever that I haven't seen the place that I've called home for 31 years, even though it's only been 3 months.

I've changed. I've grown... Fat, Mentally and Physically strong. Being in control of my emotions has taken me awhile and yet it's been satisfying to witness the constant miracles which have taken place throughout my short and yet meaningful stint here.

The biggest change is finding me able to think before talking... It's not 100% accurate but I've had so many opportunities to get blasted but been saved because of the way I framed my query or the way I addressed someone even while I was angry or the way I held my tongue even though I felt they deserved a lashing.

For me this small and yet noticeable change is what I hope to carry home. Mumbai is a chaotic land and it troubles my soul. Bangalore has fed me freedom of the most desirable kind, a freedom so sweet, a freedom that I've embraced and grown to love.

My fear of going home may seem irrational to some but it is a genuine apprehension of knowing that I'd like to be given an opportunity to spread my wings again.

So many to thank...Where do I begin... I thank myself. For taking this plunge. I thank all those who stood and supported me. I thank all those who envied me, it made me determined to prove you wrong. And always, always, JC for being my one true miracle of life.

The two most visited places in my six months other than work and home have to be Thoms Bakery and Bangalore airport. Commercial Street and RT Nagar come close though.

Im proud of myself. Living on my own. Doing the groceries. Paying the bills. Keeping tab of my expenses. Cooking and keeping the house clean. Backpacking as much as I could around the South. My DIY projects. Learning the city. Listening to the people. Playing the guitar much better. Praying a whole lot more. Understanding myself better.

I know there are many waiting for me to return.. With anticipation and glee. Me? I'm literally dragging my luggage, brain and heart are too heavy at saying goodbye to a city that's given me so much to be thankful for.

Slowly but surely I'm...

Learning to laugh again.
Learning to live again.
Learning to love again.






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