The Emancipation of Me-Me: Indian Bohri Muslim

Monday, March 14, 2011

ChelCs day out as a Bohri!

When I went over to stay at M's place, the last thing I expected was to be dolled up! Okay, not exactly dolled up, but close to that, considering I am the right size for 'N' number of my girlfriends who love to play 'dress up' with me. We spent the night eating strawberries with fresh cream outside Bachelors at Chowpatty (two cups.. YUMMY) and then me having my few last practice driving sessions days before I went to give my F1 test. For some reason I love second gear. Yeah, go figure!

Let me tell you a little bit about M - An angel disguised as a devil... Hahaha. Anyway, she is a Bohri Muslim. Now, my knowledge is very limited with regards to the Bohri community, so any Bohri's out there who read this ever - please note all information posted up has been given by said friend. Please talibanize her.

So first up, Bohri's are not allowed to touch strings of any kind. WHAT!!! I mean musical instruments. What garbage I hear you say? Exactly my sentiments. I mean you hear so many Muslim sitarists and guitarists... Well, I guess they are all going to Islam hell. They'd be welcome in Catholic heaven though... he he.

Next, Bohri surnames or last names end in 'wala' - So Chinwala, Screwdriverwala, Slatewala are common surnames... I dunno how Presswala ended up being a Gujarati surname though :)

The Bohri traditional dress is called a Ridha which is different from a Hijab worn by the Sunni Muslims. While the Hijab is usually black with beautiful sequins and work on it, the Ridha has to be colourful. Black is a strict no no.

Their Maulana - Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin, is the head of the Bohris throughout the world and is equivalent to the Catholic Pope. He resides at Walkeshwar and is currently celebrating his 100th Birthday. Happy Birthday sir!

Well that's about all I know for now about the Bohris.

So the next day after I got done from work, I went to her place and she casually says she has to go to Bohri Mohalla- I was like Bohri Who??? She says, "Arre Bhendi Bazaar ya," I had no idea so I said okay. "What we gonna do there?" I asked.

Bhendi Bazaar all aglow in
celebration of the Maulanas 100th Birthday

"I have to shop!"

Sigh. When does M never have to shop. "What are we shopping for?"

"Material and a new dress for my mom and sister for the Maulana's birthday," she sweetly replies.

I sit up. Interesting. I've never gone shopping for Bohri dress material before. "Cool, let's go."

"Yeah, umm before we leave, you have to wear the Ridha," she mutters.

"The who?"

Lol. All right. So her mom and she were all giggly and happy as they took out a dress and stood looking at me. I took it from M's hand and proceeded to put it on without knowing how too. She then helped me into the dress. And well let's just say that if the Maulana was around he would never have said I was Catholic...Lol. I looked Bohri through and through!

Can you spot where 'M' is???

After all the laughter and jokes at my new Bohri attire and look (I wore my jeans and tee inside by the way) we left.

Next stop Bhendi Bazaar. Now, the funny thing through this whole experience is I never really pay attention to people looking at me when I am in my daily wear.

However, with my new do, I was aware of every pair of eyes which glanced at me and bells kept ringing in my head - WHY ARE THEY STARING AND WHAT OF MINE IS SHOWING!!!

Inside Roza Tahera mosque

We entered Bohri Mohalla and the stares only got more intense. I have read a couple of fiction novels which talk about the way Muslim men give you this deadly intense gaze. I felt it and I did the automatic thing the female in the book would do. Blush and bow down. GAWD. Kill me. I even yelled at one fool - What you looking at - look in front! Like he paid any attention to my gibberish and continued to stare. Idiot.

M's family and me entered a dress material shop and we had to remove our shoes outside. Nice. Had to sit on the floor. Not so nice. Couldn't sit in the skirt. Sat in a funny position and kept fidgeting cause I was not allowed to talk since I couldn't speak Gujarathi (Local language).I remember telling M in the lift, "If anyone talks to me in Gujarathi, I'll just keep saying 'Futre Vu' (Supposedly F*** You in French) At which her mom pipes up and says, "Very good very good, Chelsea knows Kem Chu Kem Chu." We both just cracked up.

We got out of the shop and her parents wanted to get some other stuff sorted so M decided to show me her mosque. For me this was a special treat since I always have wanted to see what the inside of a mosque looks like. WOW, is all I can say. Made all of marble, the Roza Tahera mosque in the gullies of Bhendi Bazaar is beautiful. It is currently being redone in honour of his Holiness' big celebration. I didn't go right in but M did as she wanted to pray. I took a couple of pictures inside and when M came out I asked her to take a picture of me inside the mosque. We got shooed away after that. He he.

Then M wanted to taste some of the 'local' goodies, I passed, however. (That Canadian trait should have disappeared by now)... Needless to say M's local goodies came out in the morning... twice :P

We decided to head back home. M was designated driver, I her co-guide to scream PUT YOUR SEAT BELT every time we saw a cop... By the way - was it just us or did you notice the amount of Naka Bandhi's over the weekend. I need to find out the 'purpose' of these road blockades.

If you have ever driven a car at Bhendi Bazaar you'd know how crazy the road is. No proper signal, no cop in sight, a one way lane (according to me at least) was actually a two way moving traffic road. Since the car was across the road we had to zig zag through the traffic. I got ready to sprint holding M's hand.

Bad idea.

First off, I forgot I was in a skirt, sorry, make that a full length skirt which is tight at the bottom. I ran, I tripped and almost got one Bohri and one fake Bohri killed. M yelled - 'WTF' - I apologised grumbling I didn't realise the skirt was tight out there.

Lesson from the entire episode: When you run, LIFT YOUR SKIRT :D

The following pictures are for pure cultural viewing, not to be laughed at, especially those which involve me in the Ridha.