Gearing up for my gaddi test!

For some reason I believe learning how to drive is important. Forget the fact that I believe cars are major pollutants, the fact that I am never gonna buy a car, that the Nano is the worst thing to ever come out of the Tata stable cause of its affordability, Mumbai is no place to drive for sane people... etc etc. Yet, I believe it is important for everyone to know how to chalao a four wheeler at least.

I'm good with bikes, make that AWE*effing*and then SOME!!! but only when I ride alone. If you weigh more than my paltry 48 kgs - you are fat and will not only shake the bike but get us both killed cause I have very weak hands and absolutely no muscle. So... I apologise to those who have been brave enough to sit behind me and have faced the wrath of my riding prowess. I know you must have questioned your sanity after your wobbly behind got off. I know I questioned mine when I asked myself - what the hell did I get myself into???

Well, sorry to disappoint you but this post is not about my bike skills being tested but rather my driving skills.

A shout out to Danny boy who was my first guru - who let me touch his baby, not only touch her but drive her too. Almost got the car in the gutter but I swerved her right off didn't I Danny boy? Heck, I still remember after our third lesson, you asking me if I had driven before and I said very confidently... heck yeah... pssht..

NFS UNDERGROUND!!!!

This was a year back.

Today, merci beaucoup to Chintukli, Thitli, Toffee and Prain for letting me practice for two weeks on their vehicles before I go give my test.

Prain was even better - You paid Rs 1,500 to get both your car and bike, kachha and pakka licence done? Plus you have to give the test? I would  have gotten it for you for Rs 1,200, without having to give the test. *Sigh.

Toffee was sweet enough to say - Arre tension mat le... when I went to give the test he told me to start the car... I started and he clapped and said wah wah... okay Pass... NEXT!

I grinned and got ready to start Toffee's car, only I stalled the car four times trying to get it to move while I moved from clutch to accelerator... FAIL.

I hope the driving test guy asks me to open his door or maybe show him how I put the seatbelt on or ask me to adjust my review mirror. He will be mind boggled by my awesome sense of following rules that he will say - please madam here is your licence... take it and go... take it and... GO!

When I get into a car, thanks to Chintukli, I remember the ABC - Accelerator, Break and Clutch. I got laughed at for saying it loudly... but what do they know! I'm dyslexic at times and have to tell myself once in a while... you eat food with your right hand so that is your right...

Funny thing is all the cars that I have driven do not have a left review mirror. Plus I get this funny little twitch in my left eye once in a while... So, a good thing that didn't work out eh? The Nano it seems doesn't come with a left review mirror. The reason for that? I think it's because it didn't fit in Tata's budget for the Nano (At this cost these Indian's want everything!!!) or he didn't see it in his big heart to throw in the mirror for mufth... Right side mirror ke saath ek left side free... Basically, I am talking gas, so you tell me.

So ABC, 5 gears, 6th gear is to reverse, hand break on top always when not in motion, turn key to start car, press down clutch - move to first gear.. slowly let clutch go and accelerate gently at the same time, as it moves a bit move to second gear (clutch and accelerate)... and yeah!

And if you forget to drive after that little reminder note to myself... HIRE ME!!!

Inside 'The Orange Project'

:D