The dust finally settles

All I wanted to do was hold your hand and drown into your black pools like I had everything that I could ever need, right there. The first time I saw you, we looked but looked away... cause you held her hand. No big deal... Then.

Then you started it all and I knew I could never turn back time. This time I tried to be like the rest. Put aside all my feelings and gave in to the test. Abject failure I was... Couldn't do the most simplest of things, couldn't even do it once - Live for the moment.

Just couldn't. Had to have my heart bleed otherwise what good is what I feel?

I sat there and watched you make a fool of yourself... then again, I went outside realising you were just making a fool of me.

I watched in awe as you came in front of me, stood speechless as you pushed that loose strand away from my eyes and kissed me.

I never could go back, come on, not after that.

Yet, you know how your gut tells you that when morn comes, it was all just a dream girlie... WAKE UP SMELL THE BS!!!

But I said, no way. I mean this was my one last shot I asked for right? RIGHT?? RIGHT???

I thought... who cares what I thought.

Thinking is pointless. My feelings are as pointless as blunt knives.

The pain now gets easy cause I have lived through so many of them, it's more like a standard joke among my friends... "Here comes F., the jackass who doesn't know her elbow from her A-hole about life... about anything"


Douchebag.