"Ray of Sunshine" moment

Surprisingly though, not as miserable me, as I thought it would be.

To be honest, I did expend a dime a dozen grey cells but I'm starting to get a hang of this whole perspective business.

I told someone I 'kinda like' him.

His response: Why are you doing this to me.

Mine: Silence

My first reaction really was: I snorted, then giggled and then full blown laughter for two whole minutes.

Till reality settled in and I went into comfortable numb mode to analyse what I was feeling.

Was I hurt - yes. It was obvious though he wasn't interested. Yet that tiny demon - HOPE.

Me being me, I hate assuming and needed crystal clear clarity so I can pack up my mojo and giddy up and go.

It's taken me awhile to put myself out there. And it is a great feeling.

But some more analysis was done - should I feel bad?

Heck, NO!

Here's a guy telling me and I'm sure there are a million others like him, how he's no catch and then someone comes along (re: Moi) telling him he's a great guy and can we get to know each other - and he clams up.

I guess when they say, "I'd like to get to know you better" - it means between the sheets only.

But then I also think of the Harami quotient that's in me when some real swell guys ask me out and I'm like: RUN CHELSEA RUN!!!!

Truth is, if you don't feel it. You just don't. And that doesn't make your feelings (whether yay or nay) any less real.

It's a sad state we live in where people prefer to bellow: I HATE you at the drop of a hat, be it in jest or for real; yet to whisper: I really love you, care about you, you make me smile... you are my sunshine on a cloudy day... would tear you apart, ae?

Well, how's all that hate working for you?

Man, that last good kiss though, was a March ago *sigh*

Now to expunge him. Obliviate!

If I asked you...

Do you wanna build a snowman?

Will you be my adventure?

Even after all this time? 

There's only one correct answer

8 years to 40

Yeah, lousy way to look at it but whatever it takes for a reality check, man.

So, Happy Burrpday Day, Chelsea!

Those birthing hips of yours aint gonna last forever, so getta leg on, love.

Heh.

This year, TBH, I didn't plan much but got to watch a few films that were overdue - PRETTY WOMAN!

Not to mention, watched The Bucket List again - Jack and Morgan two guys who make a great on screen couple and would probably make a mean drink too :P

All right - what are we doing this year other than trying to get jiggy wit it.

I have to somehow manage to cross skydiving, bunjee jumping, scuba diving or snorkeling off my list.

Yeah, good luck with that, babe!

A little more calmer, a little more clarity in thoughts, words and deeds - and take life with a little bigger pinch of namak.

And what 2016 taught you more than anything

WHEN THEY GO LOW, WE GO HIGH!

Stay the same. Always.

Ramblings @140 w/pm

Hello.

If you're reading this, I want you to know you're not the only one wandering alone and lost in the crowds of a weekend mall.

Do you, like me, have people you love, either in a relationship, married, pregnant or with kids? That you can't call them cuz they are busy?

That you're peering through that magic glass mirror and seeing them move on with their life, happy/sad, and you seem... Stuck, somehow.

You walk among them, blending in your solitude, hearing snippets of laughter, cat fights, glee and secret kisses. Shameless voyeur you are.

Sometimes you choke, in anger, in grief, in hurt. Your eyes form a pool, a single line rolls down your cheekbones. You wipe that liar away.

Someone's child ambling around offers you her pudgy hand, looks at you & kills you, with a smile. You accept that kind touch and smile back.

Something, deep in your gut, shifts. You smile at the mother and she sees the ache in your soul. She nods at you, in pity. She understands.

You kiss and press that beautiful hand one last time, before turning away to the crowd, again. You look down, not wanting another encounter.

You wonder how many at that very moment were lonely drifters like you. Were at the mall just to be part of a larger purpose, to feel wanted.

Time's up. You grab a latte for the long walk home. As you exit the crowd you bump into the lil angel again. She smiles and offers you hope.

She reminds you: it ain't over till the fat lady sings. Chin up, chest out, you hum "November Rain", a little lighter load on your head and ♥.