The other woman

She always knew she was special. Always.

She was never in denial of the fact that whatever she wanted, whatever she touched was hers. Hers to own, hers to hold, hers to care for.

But never whoever she touched. Never.

She knew from the very beginning He would give her anything and everything possible in His infinite wisdom and understanding. Yet, he decided to leave that one gift out.

Well not exactly left out. He gave her so much of the gift that she couldn't hold it or contain it. So she shared, or tried to share. She gave always, never holding back.

Maybe that is what ultimately led to her downfall.

The gift, that was her... and yet never was.

She felt over powered and over consumed by it often, that there were times she was afraid. Afraid people would see the power and hide or run away or use, abuse and laugh at her gift... before walking away.

While she tried always to give her gift to those who needed it the most, she knew it was never enough. It was never hers to give most of the time. People would just take what they wanted and discard her and her gift, like they discarded cigarette buds.

She didn't envy her friends who had the gift between themselves. She was happy that they could share it.

The problem somehow was every time she tried to give the gift to one person, there were always complications. She always tried giving the gift to the wrong person. Not the wrong person, just the wrong kind/type of person. People she knew who would never understand her, where she came from, what she  stood for and why she wanted to give them her gift.

Seems like a waste you know. Such a gift. I mean, there were people who wanted her and her gift. But she just couldn't commit to them, knowing heart of hearts - her gift was not for them.

So she ended up giving her gift to all the wrong people leaving a trace of her gift always behind. And after she made her mistake the numbness would seep in, filling the void, erasing the gift for a while, till she woke up from her slumber, rejuvenated and alive.

But during those hours of darkness, she will always remain... the other woman.

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River's edge, so quiet and full of potential
With weeping trees and just enough nightfall
To cover up the strays
I can hear boats in the distance
Making saviours out of ordinary people


River's edge you're all that I have
And a night filled with promises
And just enough nightfall to cover up the strays


~ Great Lake Swimmers