Emotionally buried

<< wrote this as I tried identifying with one inanimate object - that I could relate to (especially, since I come from water)  >>

You're a lone rock stranded at the edge of the sea. Buried deep in the sands of time, to stay still, for eternity.

No matter how hard you wish you could move, you're grounded. You ask the wind to blow you away; it sprays you with water.

You ask the sun to burn you to oblivion; it burns you till you crack... but no more.

You pray to be swept into the ocean, only to have moss and the like hold onto you tight. Crabs crawl over you, their pincers come and go as they please - and you itch to scratch them away.

Then comes the tide, bringing with it the one thing you wish you could shy away from. Emotions, feelings and memories, wave after wave, they hammer against your lifeless soul until you can drown no more.

Then it pulls back... Pushes so farther in that that it looks like a speck of blue out yonder.

And you begin to wonder: "How many moons need to pass before I delve deep into the abyss of nothingness again? "

Saving Children. Saving Chelsea.

The first time I visited Save the Children, India was almost a year ago. Humbling the experience it may have been, but the learning that experience taught will stay a lifetime.

On 26 June, about 20 of us from PwC India (Mumbai office) once again spent four hours with the kids from Save the Children. Located in the posh Bandra Kurla Complex (BKC) area, there's something which is really uplifting. NGOs today receive much deserved funding to do quality work and service and you can see that in the eyes of these kids.

We were broken into groups which had equal number of kids divided between us. We spent two hours drawing and colouring and another hour playing antakshari and another hour judging some of the brilliant canvases I have seen in a long long time.

So what Save the Children does is they have huge boards on the walls of each floor and every six months groups of students are given topics which have to be visualised on the board. In short, make that plain board come to life. With the help of their teachers and I'm assuming counsellors too, I could see a tremendous amount of love, effort, research and dedication displayed on each canvas.

The marvel of it all - the excitement of the kids, teachers, support staff, principal - everyone celebrating a job well done,

Special mention must be made of their friends aka teachers. These wonderful people create such a warm environment for them to study, compete and grow in, that sometimes I feel they're excelling way more than what I did back in my day.

My take home: I was lost for four hours. Happily lost. Felt a huge lump when I had to leave. You keep wanting to be around people and places that leave you mesmerised, no? I just feel sometimes I'm such a coward that I didn't pursue what could have also been a very fulfilling life with these children. I mean they bonded with me. Open arms, kisses, gentlemen kind of hand shakes, and those big smiles and the biggest deal breaker of them all - their own beautiful world filled with the sounds of silence. I felt so left out. I really wanted to be part of that world.

Ever since my interactions with the banana cartwalla at Bandra Station, I've been meaning to make some efforts to learn sign language. I tried Googling a little bit at the NGO, but I know it would be a brilliant skill to learn. So adding that to the bucket list (:  

When life is rife with solitude…

The road is long and dark, Lord

And I need a friend,

My strength is failing Lord,

I need a helping hand

When my steps falter, Lord

You take control,

When my heart trembles Lord,

It’s your hand I’ll hold

In my darkness, Lord

You be the light

When my mind grows dull,

Be the North Star in my night

In times when I cannot speak

You be my song

And when my sleep has dried

Lie me down in your arms

I know I’ll be alright

When you take the wheel

Let there always be more of you in my life, Lord,
And less of me.

The road may be long and dark, Lord

I won’t have to walk alone,

My strength may be failing Lord,

Then it’s your hand I’ll hold.
~This moving piece was written keeping me in mind, by my colleague and co-conspirator, Roxanna Pinto aka Foxanna aka Rox.
Merci beaucoup!

Monster You Made Me ~Pop Evil

Take a good look at me now

Do you still recognize me?

Am I so different inside?

This world is trying to change me

And I admit I don't want to change with it

And I admit I can't go on like this anymore

Erase this monster I've become

Forgive me for all the damage done

It's not over

Say it's not over

I'm begging for mercy

I'm only the monster you made me

I'm better alone now

See I'm torn from my mistakes

And I stopped believing that I could ever make things change

How much can I take

When I know that it hurts you?

How long can I wait

When I can't go on like this anymore?

Erase this monster I've become

Forgive me for all the damage done

It's not over

Say it's not over

I'm begging for mercy

I'm only the monster you made me

Because who I am

Isn't who I used to be

And I'm not invincible

I'm not indestructible

I'm only human

Can't you see

The beauty in me?

Take a good look at me now

Can't you see I've changed?

Erase this monster I've become

Forgive me for all the damage done

It's not over

Say it's not over

I'm begging for mercy

I'm only the monster you made me

Far away through the pain

I hear the angels calling

Far away through the pain

I see my demons falling

Far away through the pain

I hear the angels calling

Far away through the pain

I see my demons falling

Erase this

Erase this

Erase this monster you made me