Nov 25: Fighting form for a fighting finish

Activity: Walking
Duration: 15.53
Distance: 1.008
Calories: 149

Activity: Running
Duration: 50.12
Distance: 4.037
Calories: 473

1 mile: 12.41
2 miles: 12.10
3 miles: 12.46
4 miles: 12.1

Ziiimmmbblllyyy zzuuuppperrr!

But I am sure I'll get into more scuffles if I run in the evenings cause Indian men have never seen big chested women run... mother fuckers. Already bashed up two fucks last week - I stopped during my third mile to control my anger at three guys on a bike who stopped close to me and one fuck jumped off. Seriously the police need to patrol the Oberoi slope - so many chuths without helmets, intentionally coming close to girls walking etc, - and hoping they skid and fall is hoping for too much I assume. I'm sure no one in their family would miss them really. Hell - I wouldn't if they were gone. Rid ourselves of these vermin on bikes with no balls.

Nov 24: Good slow beginning

I decided I wouldn't run the scheduled 10 mile since I haven't done the 9 mile run and also since I hadn't run in a while owing to work (which was slowly getting to me)

So I walked - as briskly as I could.

My time wasn't completely captured as my phone battery died but I can confidently say I did about 7 miles.

Activity: Walking
Duration: 1.28.26
Distance: 5.506
Calories: 836

I'm glad I did this. I was able to observe people and found so many training for the marathon. I knew I had to get back in the game and I'm no where confident like the way I was before. This time around also I haven't lost any weight or become fatigued although I am working long hours and barely sleeping. This disturbed rest isn't helping me get my butt out the door even though I am wide awake at 4 - 5am. The best sleep I get is between 6 and 8am and that's the time i need to move.

Why am I so burned out about this? Soooo much to accomplish. This is my time, my life, my moment.

MAKE IT COUNT CHELSEA!!!

To be footloose and fancy free has a price

Especially when you know that you're capable of taking them only in very minute doses. I believe my mind and my heart are at loggerheads where I am just unable to get both on the same plane, have a sit down and have a one on one as to why I am wavering and wandering in my thoughts.

I've sobered up. The experiment ended in a way I never expected it to. Fool me - I know but I guess I am disillusioned that it didn't end the way I hoped it would - on the right note. I wanted to walk away with my head held high and now I'm just muddled - should I be angry, upset, hurt, offended, rejected or just plain ignore it?

Conversations with Me-Me help but only until my mind starts wandering again. No regrets - that's for sure. I loved my doppelganger. I wish her well but in another time, another life, another me.

Now on to new, better and bigger things! Patience*

Nov 19: Before she tumbles..

Well I tried and I failed. I wasn't able to run on Sunday due to family commitments. Decided to run on Tuesday since was working from home and I'd have time to recover I decided to continue to attempt the 9 mile.

Activity: Walking
Duration: 27.28
Distance: 1.762
Calories: 258

Activity: Running
Duration: 1.16.27
distance: 6.026
Calories: 722

1 mile: 13.40
2 miles: 13.28
3 miles: 12.35
4 miles: 12.0
5 miles: 12.30
6 miles: 11.44

I DID SO WELL and then I copped out. Just gave up. Right now I'm typing this out a week later from doing this run and I can't for the life of me figure out what the fuck went wrong. I just didn't do it and I'm so bummed even writing about it.

I'm in two minds to scream FUCK! but I'd rather shut up and get on with it you know :-/

I came home and just rested for an hour because I dunno why I didn't complete the run. Am I becoming over confident or have I reached that stage where I feel that I've actually done 8 miles so I don't have to prove anything anymore?

I don't think so. But this is a huge setback in the training and I hope I can shake myself out of this stupor.