Reflection

The light within her flickers thin

Diminishing, fading...

Melting whites... pinks... blues

All the hues, hanging loose.

Starlight, starbright

A fallen angel weeps herself to sleep each night

Cleanse her soul, hide the pain,

Let Love within her grow once again.

~CBS

The Act of Contrition

Oh my Lord, I'm heartily sorry for having offended thee,
And I detest my sins,
Because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell
But most of all, because they displease you, My Lord,
You who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace,
To confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life.

Amen.
P.s: When my nanima aka nana taught Chelson and me our prayers as kids, we learned them in a jiffy. Yet, somehow I could never get the Act of Contrition down pat. It took me 23 years and a frozen Canadian evening, where I spent time in Church and read by learning to believe in what I was reading. Thanks Uncle Nuno for taking me for the Wednesday Novena's and helping me learn a prayer which keeps me from harm and sin every single day.

They. We. You. I.

Find her a guy, they said.

Find her a guy, they said.

He kept beating her... Till she was dead.

Get her married, they said.

Get her married, they said.

He chained and starved her... Till she was dead.

Why no children, they said.

Why no children, they said.

They mentally tortured her... Till she was dead.

Where's the whore, they said.

Where's the whore, they said.

She kept stabbing him... Till he was dead.

~CBS.

Welcoming Life, Cheating Death (The point between Rage & Serenity)

Two major events happening in my life.

(1) After nine months, a friend delivers a healthy baby boy.

'Neath a load of guilt and shame

Flip coin

(2) After a few years of battling AIDS, a friend's mom fights for survival.

While one hand of mine felt a child's warm body, the other hand grasped a frail mother's bedside as she struggles to live for her three young daughters after their father passed away, thanks to the disease.

I'm struggling inside cause this is how unfair life is. Unfair for the eldest daughter who has two young mouths to feed. Unfair cause her relatives are ready to pounce on the small chawl they call home IF the mother dies. Unfair cause I don't think WE as a society, including my Church are doing enough to tell this teenager - You're not alone. I am with You.

When I felt that newborn's heartbeat and his mother's tender love - my anguish was complete.

I've stopped questioning God - Why he? Why she? Why not me? I've stopped.

But I seethe with rage, happless. What else can I do? What else do I do?

Why?

Cause of the haphazard system we have in place for children who are left to fend for themselves, cause of the fallacies of a society standing by silently as a mother fights a losing battle for life, as a forlorn girl fights alone for her parents few belongings, for the lack of a support system to help with medical bills, legal issues, an education for her siblings.

If any one is reading this - please do pray, really PRAY for the new baby, for the mom who wants to live and for my beautiful friend - to give her the strength for the tough road ahead and may she always remember - You are not alone.

That's all I ask.

I want to end with these words which have been swimming in my mind the entire day.

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man

Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

~Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) by the Dixie Chicks